Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Product Advisory: Michael Beasley

In my last post, I did some talking about Michael Beasley. I was positive, but admitted that numbers in the pre-season should be tempered with common sense, etc. etc. I also said that Beas showed mixed results while going into 'aggressive go-to scorer' mode for the Timberwolves.

In my quest for positivity regarding this poor, lost, young soul, I assumed that his aggressive attitude would continue to lead to easier/better looks and that his turnovers would eventually taper off and become not-awful.

On the other hand, maybe all of that was just dumb. Dumb, dumb thoughts from me. A smart person would have mentioned that Beas is not a very good shooter, normally. He isn't going to shoot 80% from the field in most games (as he did in the T-Wolves first pre-season game). Unfortunately, and this is still a way early judgment, he may turn the ball over a lot. Forever.  I'm saying that maybe Michael Beasley has confused 'energy guy' with 'takes-a-lot-of-shots-and-tries-to-do-too-much guy.'

You may ask, 'What leads you to that conclusion?' The answer lies in these numbers -

26 minutes (that indicates not very much, so don't panic yet).

4-12 from the field (okay, we're getting close. That's not very good shooting, guys).

0-0 on 3-point attempts (okay, so at least he wasn't just jacking shots from deep).

5-7 from the line (Hey, you drew fouls! Good job, Beas! Motivation! Energy!)

7 rebounds (More energy! Win!)

1 assist (Alright, not exactly creating but we don't expect that from you, really).

1 steal, 0 blocks (Okay, whatever. Defense isn't your thing).

6 turnovers (WHOA WHOA WHOA SLOW DOWN. That's not energy. That's awful. Sit down on the bench, please)!1!!

Michael Beasley had 13 points 7 rebounds and 6 turnovers. That's not very good news if you don't want Beas to just steal wins from your team. You guys don't even have that many wins to steal, okay?

Math Equation that will explain everything -

Michael Beasley + Offensive touches = Meaningless points because of so many turnover. So, so many.

Urgent Message Directed At Kurt Rambis -

You are not in need of a high usage SF. Turns out that Michael Beasley turns the ball over too much to be effective. Probably, you should limit his touches. Nothing good can come from Michael Beasley Getting Offensive Possessions.

End Urgent Message

Beware the one you call 'Beastly,' Timberwolves Fans, because he hates offensive efficiency and he does not know the definition of 'energy guy.' Bad news, because he is on your team and he is using the pre-season as practice for destroying your team from the inside out. Maybe. Maybe things will be fine. Maybe you can give him a basketball-textbook definition of 'energy guy' and he'll do things that won't kill your team. Maybe not. The most important advice I can give you on Beas? Stop calling him 'Beastly.' He is not a beast in the way that you are referring to him. Jeez, what an inaccurate moniker.

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